That Floating Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
As we consider the television landscape of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season started, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an installment centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?
The Kim Kardashian Drama
‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was almost the smallest of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
AKA Charlie Sheen
Given the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
The Gangster Drama
Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which seemed rather simplistic.
With Love, Meghan
Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of the nation’s ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to live up to something far greater than it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was enormous for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous cameos involved felt icky.
Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping
Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We love the star … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
The Bonnie Blue Documentary
This uncritical portrait followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.
